


Background Noise

by _Lightning_ (Lightning070)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Ashes Scene in Avengers: Infinity War Part 1, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Character Death, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Guilt, Hurt Peter, Hurt Tony Stark, I don't want to go, Pain, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Titan, Tony Angst, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony-centric, snap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-07-04 00:05:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15829674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lightning070/pseuds/_Lightning_
Summary: I've often heard people improperly talking about this elusive "cosmic background noise". [...] Bullshit, that's what I've always thought. Poetical bullshit, but bullshit all the same.





	Background Noise

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Rumore di fondo](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/411666) by _Lightning_. 



> Spoilers ahead for Infinity War!

I've often heard people improperly talking about this elusive "cosmic background noise".

They describe it as some sort of universal vibration, an imperceptible frequency on which every existing being is tuned; something supposed to prevent us from going crazy knowing that we're just a blue globe spinning adrift in space.

Bullshit, that's what I've always thought. Poetical bullshit, but bullshit, all the same, made up by someone who's never opened an astrophysics manual just to embellish a completely rational phenomenon like an electromagnetic radiation.

 

I've been thinking that way until today, when I heard that background noise switched off for an instant which threatened to shatter my eardrums.

I'd thought that, having been through an alien wormhole, I had a clear notion of what fear and silence were. In comparison that was a joyful ride, and I'd be willing to pay its ticket a million times more, just to avoid reliving that single heartbeat when all fell silent. For that split second, everyone's been more alone than they could ever be: detached from reality, time, space, from their soul and mind and strength, from life's very flow.

After that break in time, just as long for us to sense it, that noise was switched on again and we drew a breath, a labored one, because something has changed.

The noise is different. Lower. Weaker.

Something from that vibe's missing, and we can't figure out what it is, but it was essential.

 

Then, the ashes. The faces crumbling away in the wind. The fear mirrored in our eyes as we wonder who's next, as we realize our defeat, _my_ fear as I understand it's happening everywhere. Even on Earth.

A devious voice in the back of my head starts whispering about my never-coming wedding. A fit of panic rushes down my body and I pray for the first time in my life. I pray to Chance to be consistent and make me vanish too, and when that doesn't happen I want to believe it listened to me.

I'll know only later if...

«Mr. Stark?»

The background noise is feeble but steady.

It's my ears that have gone deaf in the heartbeat it takes to turn around like I really need my eyes to figure out what's happening.

Peter stares at me with bewildered eyes. He's too young to have even remotely considered the thought of dying.

«I don't feel so good.»

His pupils widen, struck with fear and confusion, they search for mine in a cry for help. Because I'm the adult, his hero, the one who always comes up with a brilliant solution and who, behind all the sarcasm and scoldings and indifference, does care for him.

«You're alright.»

A part of me wants to believe that I can still do something; I catch him as his legs give in. I clutch that suit I've built for him with a care I've only ever reserved to my armors, in the hope of gifting him with it on a different day than this.

I can feel him shuddering in my embrace. I can't protect him, I finally realize, and I start to shudder as well, chocked up in my powerlessness.

«Sir, please. I don't want to go. I don't want to go...»

I'm unable to speak. I'm frozen in my quivering, as I feel every last drop of blood clotting in my veins. I become aware of every contraction of my heart.

I stare at death's face like ten years ago in that cave, and I should be in his place now as well. My role demands it, but chance doesn't care.

I feel his grasp on my shoulder going limp and I suddenly wonder why I didn't hug him for real that one time, instead of just getting the car door.

I cling to him more tightly.

«I'm sorry.»

His voice faintly echoes one last time, then all I'm holding is air, speckled with ashes and dust.

I stay on my knees, my head bent, with another missed goodbye in my chest.

The universe gets quieter yet.

**Author's Note:**

> I translated this story myself and English isn't my first language, so if you notice any mistake just let me know and I'll be sure to fix it!
> 
> Thanks to anyone who will read, comment or give kudos to this story :)
> 
> -Light-


End file.
